Who do you think you are?
Updated: Sep 12
We all want to figure out who we are and why we are the way we are. We take personality quizzes, check our horoscopes, ask for advice (both in person or online) trying to see if what we’re doing is right or if who we are is normal. Trying to see if our actions, personality, or careers are what will make us happy and bring us a sense of satisfaction and completion. We measure ourselves by the standards of others even when those “others” don’t carry those same standards in real life.
We have a real struggle going on inside of us. One that whispers that we are perfect and unique, exactly as we were meant to be. The other plays our flaws for us on a never-ending loop in our minds.
“Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.” ~ St. Catherine of Siena
I’ve had a long road to self-acceptance. I see it in myself as well as watching how prevalent it is in our society to seek outside for either an explanation or confirmation of who we are. We struggle to accept praise and often downplay the gifts that were given to us by God. I always found it interesting how we can stare in the mirror, disgusted by our appearance, but when we have children we hope they look like us and relish when someone points out how they have our eyes or our nose. I think that’s the whispering that we hear that tells us somewhere inside us we know we are good. The booming sound that talks over the sweet whisper may be louder but only because it has more to lose if left unheard.
I read somewhere that one of the reasons we keep striving for this unattainable beauty, strength, status or wealth is that our souls remember Adam and Eve. The ultimate in beauty, strength, status and wealth - they had it all. It makes sense that in us is this innate knowledge of them and a yearning for who we would have been had we not fallen. A yearning for the ability to hear those whispers from God as loud as that booming voice of the devil.
Why is God’s voice not the one booming? I find that the loudest, most fervent person talking over others tends to be the one that’s focused on their ego. They aren’t thinking through of the old adage “What Would Jesus Do?”. They only want to be right. I know this because that used to be me. I refused to listen, really listen to God. I was too busy looking over His shoulder at the loud guy in the corner.
But the truth is God only seems to be a whisper because that’s the box we’ve put Him in. We have plugged our ears to Him and all we can hear is the loud bass beating into our bodies. If He were louder then we’d have to make some difficult decisions. We’d have to see our uniqueness and accept it. We’d have to see our beauty or strength AS IS and accept that as perfection. We’d have to do what is right even when it’s the hardest thing to do.
The 10 commandments weren’t written to hold us back or to punish us. They were there to protect us - mostly from ourselves, and in the same way we place rules upon our own children. Jesus tried to simplify it for us when He said in Mark 12:30-31, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength. The second is this ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” If we love ourselves, God, and our neighbor we wouldn’t, for example, envy or bear false witness. These things bring us down and create barriers between not just us and God, but with us and our neighbor, or with us and ourselves. We focus too much on this world and where we want to fit that we don’t pay attention to where He wants us to fit. Where we’ll feel it all align.
We may never attain the perfection of the first humans or ever fully feel confident in who we are but understanding how incredibly perfect we are in our Father’s eyes (just as our children are in our own), we can begin to start the conversation with Him. We can begin to take that first step in finding out who we are and why He has given us this blessing of a life. How can we help our family, our neighbors, city, country or world. We all have a different job here. All of them are equally as important. We just have to turn our attention from the bright lights and loud noise, remove the padding from our ears, and accept the comfort in the calm whisper.
About: Sosie Matosian resides in Virginia with her husband, three children and two dogs. She has her degree in Biblical Studies from University of Northwestern with additional emphasis and certificate in the Catechesis of the Good Shepherd. She is passionate about sharing her faith with others and brings a personal perspective to the struggles one might face in their journey walking to and with Christ.